Posts (page 2)
From The Desk Of: ChewMouse
Pengy, After our visit, I had Louise type up your new contract along with
the rules I expect you to follow. I will visit three times weekly to
see how you are getting along. I know you can do this! ChewMouse
1. Swearing in your blog is forbidden. You may say “hell” and “damn” but for matters involving fecal matter, I expect “poo” or “poop” and not the s-word.
2. You will not taunt the meadowlarks.
3. You will not taunt, laugh at or tease the cattle.
4. You may write whatever you wish to your mother, I will not censor that. But you are always welcome to get in touch with me and I can be with you within a half-hour.
5. I have gotten a prescription for the gas you are experiencing and as you recall, we went over the weeds that you should not eat. Hopefully, your gastrointestinal tract will adapt shortly.
6. I have arranged for a large block of ice to be delivered to your prairie area on any day that is forecast to be over 68 degrees Fahrenheit. In the hottest of summer, you will receive a morning delivery and another at 1:00 p.m.
7. You will continue your therapy journal as we discussed.
8. You need to blog at least twice weekly, please. The others blog daily, including Desert Fish, and he is having adjustment problems as well. Post your blog to Vox as always. I am not yet ready to review your entries before you post, that feels like babysitting instead of employing you to do the job we discussed.
9. I would like you to write one thing for which you are grateful every day. You may blog this or put it in your therapy journal. Gratitude will help when you see all that you have.
10. I will follow up on the above at each of our meetings.
Signed: ChewMouse
And people call me a pessimist. Jesus.
Click the pic for the video and prepare to be amazed!
April 4, 2008
Dear Ms. ChewMouse,
I wanted this job so that I could travel and learn of new places.
I was very shocked to learn that the prairie was so hot; I had heat rash under my wings and penguins do not have sweat glands.
Then there was that unfortunate issue with the cow and about that meadowlark, that bird started it! He made a comment about my weight and in fact I am perfect weight for my species and age.
I guess what I am trying to say is that my adjustment has not been easy.
I will not swear anymore in my blogs. I will not fight with the prairie animals. I don’t want to get sent home because that would bring shame on my mother.
I will try to do better.
Sincerely,
Pengy
(Prairie Penguin)
ChewMouse.Com Employee Counseling Form Employee Name:
Evaluator Name: Issue(s): Possible Solutions:
Alternatively OR simultaneously, counseling with a qualified therapist is available (and confidential).
Employee Response: PLEASE WRITE YOUR REPONSE HERE; YOU MAY USE EXTRA SHEETS OF PAPER IF NECESSARY. We want you to be happy here, Pengy! Please write a response and get it to me within four days and then we will have a sit-down meeting about these problems! ChewMouse
I cannot believe this! I get a lot of mail but this is insane, I tell you!
I'm a penguin!
I don't have teeth, I have a beak!
